Music has a way of bringing insight to alot of my topics. Back in 1990 which seems like ancient times now one of my favorite rap groups was Salt n Pepa. They had a song out titled , "Let's talk about sex". A snippet of the lyrics are:
"To the people at home or in the crowd
It keeps coming up anyhow
Don't be coy, avoid, or make void the topic
Cuz that ain't gonna stop it
Now we talk about sex on the radio and video shows
Many will know anything goes"
Basically the message of the song is to talk about this taboo topic. Why?? Because sex is a natural act but rarely discussed in a healthy manner. If you're like the majority of the people walking the face of the Earth you learned sex from porn or friends. Let's face it our friends learned sex from porn too. I know I did. My mom and I never had a discussion on the topic. I just knew NOT to get pregnant until I was married. Even when I got married I knew I liked it, but my husband and I didn't articulate what we liked, needed, wanted, and didn't like about sex. I'm 45 now and can finally articulate what I want without feeling ashamed or feeling judged. At this point in my life I give 0 f's about what anyone thinks lol...
Which led me to this week's blog topic..
Let's talk about SEX
I couldn't help but wonder...
Wouldn't it be great to have a healthy conversation about sex with your partner to discuss what you want? Sex conversations cam be intimidating and emotional. You know what you want to say, but how can you express yourself comfortably without feeling judged or embarrassed. Healthy sex conversations need to be had while dating and even when in a relationship. Over a period of time our needs, wants, fantasies , and desires change.
So the challenge with sex conversations could be feeling judged,unsure how to approach the topic, or know when to talk to your partner.
Those are some challenges , but what are the goals when having healthy sex conversations? Once we uncover the goals we can solve the challenges.
Sex Conversation Goals
Normilaze talking about sex. This is not a taboo topic. The key here with normalizing the conversation is to be educated when discussions are had.
Use terms you and your partner both understand. Everyone doesn't know labia minora or bulbs of the vestibule. So be mindful of terms you use. Say what you both know for clear understanding. If you are unsure Google can help.
Both parties enjoy meaningful sex in a comfortable environment. The goal is to create intimacy for meaningful sex.
Sex conversations should never STOP. They may PAUSE but should never STOP. If the conversation STOPS for long periods of time it's hard to start again.
At A Taste of Sex healthy sex conversations never STOP. Read the blog this week to learn more on how to talk to your partner/s about sex.
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TwilaBGoode
