In relationships being compatible plays an important role. By definition it simply means how well people get along with each other. I mean how can you be with someone and not get along. Now I know there will be ups and downs in any relationship disagreements will occur that's natural. However, being compatible is what keeps the relationship going. Relationships including friendships, marriages, and even when dating being compatible is a big factor. Conversations, sense of humor, connection and chemistry are all factors when getting to know someone. When dating there is one other area where people need to be compatible and where the chemistry and connection are very important. That area is sexual compatibility.
Now I recall meeting a man we went out a few times and everything was great. On my dating checklist he met all the requirements. Conversation, sense of humor, respect, and physically attractive. I mean the man was fyne! Every time we were together it was organic and natural....until we entered the bedroom. I had longed for this moment and when it finally happened it was not the best. I mean it wasn't bad, but it wasn't what I was expecting. Now sometimes with the first sexual encounter it can be awkward. He goes left she goes right just simply not knowing what the person enjoys or the first time can be quick depending on if the guy cums fast and there isn't a round two. Needless to say I brushed it off and thought the next time would be better. Well no, not at all. I mean how is it that two people who have chemistry and a connection in all other areas were simply not connected sexually. It was like a bad reality or goofy porn hub scenes each time. He was pumping fast I was moving slow, he went left I went right, I was out of breath he had stamina. I was perplexed and simply could not understand why it was happening. This had never happened to me before. After several tries and failed attempts we both agreed that being platonic friends was best. Keeping a friendship was better than not being friends at all. At the end of the day I couldn't help but wonder, what keeps two people from being sexually compatible?
I came to the conclusion that it all comes down to energy. That sexual turn on that spark that lies within each of us. Knowing how to be intimate, taking the time to learn the other person, and simply being comfortable around each other during those intimate moments are very important. Also ,having that sexual confidence as well is definitely important. I think for me I was so mesmerized by how his physical features were I found myself intimidated. Crazy as this sounds now but, I was and because of this I was extremely nervous when we were alone in a intimate setting. In my mind I expected it to be this perfect sensual romantic act and it wasn't. I was very uncomfortable being around him in my natural beauty. I began to feel insecure with myself. Questions and thoughts went thru my mind.. embarrassed about my blemishes and my stretch marks. For some reason I have always been secure with my body, but with him I wasn't. if you can't be comfortable being in your natural state then there is no way you can be with that individual. In the end we both agreed that we were not sexually compatible and would remain platonic friends.
As I sip on my whiskey and smoke my Aladino Vintage Selection cigar I realize that not every man I meet is the man for me. Simply, he wasn't THE ONE and I can't force it or expect it to be something it isn't.
Some men and women you meet are good for conversations and tacos.
Stay tuned for the next episode... episode 5 A Taste of Sex